Who I am as a Therapist is Not Very Different from Who I am as a Person.
I am not telling the story here of events, incidents that led me to choose what I do. What I want to tell is Why I do it? What inspires me to choose a profession that is profusely rampant with taboo and a high handedness? What is my contribution to the seemingly rudimentary notion of being with another person? These questions plague me, disrupt my attention, take me to places inside marked as “Do Not Enter”
So, let me defy myself and pickle my story, which, in significant and ordinary ways carries me to work as a Therapist.
I come from a rural, semi-urban social background, raised in an environment where relationships, community care were part of every day life. Rituals, celebrations were simple and plenty. Daily life was weaved with animal world, working on the land, braving the weather, and physically demanding days. We had much less protection to what life threw at us, but a greater sense of safety amongst us, emotions had a freedom to flow just like the ever changing shades of nature, material wealth sparse but human connection and integration with life forms was abundant. Food remained simple but always a little more than enough to feed an unknown weary guest. The circle of life yielded respect, so the only quest remained was within the hearts of those restless moments that kept me “Woke”.
My growing interests through my institutionalized learning days always laced with poetry, stories, the mystic power of the skies. I was too bored and became belligerent in knowing the answers, but forever enjoyed the process of searching the ever evading questions, so philosophy was more interesting than psychology, and literature was favored over linguistics. Social impact of technology was attractive than the implementation of the latest advances to create convenience for mundane or space travel.
Work culture that evoked community values of co-operation, self-accountability, creativity, randomness were more tolerable than the culture of dominion, power-over, information hoarding, distrust, keeping things nice, and absence of genuineness with each other. These choices of work and living are reflected in my Bio.
The Making of Me
The main Bone of my Story is “Connection”. The connection with my lived past, the immediacy of my present, the fertility of the emergent future, the others, the surrounding, the environment, everything that impacts me socially, politically, and cosmically. The innumerable and myriad ways in which I am influencing and reciprocating with Life around me remain a forever food of observable inquiry.
Connection is both attachment and non-attachment, I am connected with Life and I am also withdrawn from Life, Life fills me with its potency or calls me to breathe hard in moments of sharp pains. What is crucial is my inner willingness to be with these construed dualities and discover their flow into each other. There comes the concepts of forming newer neural pathways, biomimicry, body-centered therapies (including psychotherapy) and so much more into the mix. There is another component that is often parked outside the door of popular psychology; Soul. Our connection with our Soul is hard to understand because it cannot be grasped by the intellect or personal will alone. We need a vast field of openness that unifies the heart, body, mind pathway for the soul to land in an embodied presence of Self.
This experience of my Soul connection with Source is where every map, knowledge, concept, learning, experience fades in the background. Here, it was only wading through inter-generational trauma & collective traumas, zero will for change, but a full hearted surrender to be taken up as I need to be towards whatever awaits me. For me this process was very quick and it took me a good few years to integrate and work through. A glimpse of this Soul Awakening and Grounding is captured in My Story.
At the heart of my Life, I consider myself to be a commoner, an ordinary person with whom one can have a conversation about the sheer simplicity of life & the inherent complexity of human’s relating with Life. The cornerstone of my life journey so far continues to be in-relation with a diverse pool of people with not much ado to defining their experiences. But, a simple humane relating with them and not knowing is a big part of it too.
The Practice of Becoming a Therapist
As a person and now a therapist(in the making) I find myself intentionally willing to be with you, as you are, where you are at this point in your life. I am interested in meeting you in your experience of life right now. I then nudge you to look closer to what is hard, while I stay with you. Here lies my responsibility wherein I bring myself in but I stay in service of your life. My own acceptance and awareness of self comes to the fore and determines my ability to be attuned to you, my vulnerabilities are doorways to your world, and your’s to mine. My feelings are not a mere sentimentality but carry with them the wisdom and awareness that I have weaved into myself through my human experiences and consciously working and embodying them. So, your feelings and experience remain paramount in this relationship. I am with you, and I am also with myself. My limits are also part of the unfolding, so is my ability to accept them and honestly continue to engage with them and you.
The fluid that builds, grows, keeps my connections smooth and healthy through the vagaries of life lies in communication & heartful competency. Practicing the dance of when to let go through acceptance and when to turn my faithful attention to the unpleasant reality that needs an honest conversation. It is a practice of building inner clarity, a genuine commitment towards cultivating harmony. Dialogue as a way for having these conversations is crucial, a dialogue is not predetermined rather born in the shared willingness to engage with Self & Other in as much transparency as I can. This is practice of a becoming Wise as I grow in life, this is the making of an Elder and inviting Eldership into our fragmented society. It is also the heart of my work as a Therapist with a client, with the additional responsibility towards serving the ask, the needs, the purpose that what the client intends to fulfill through this therapeutic relationship.
The Bone Marrow of my Life where everything turns to Gold is the spark of Pure Love, I am not sure what it can mean in today’s world, where it is made into a utopian stigma or a grand finale of a child’s desire. But, something tells me that when the Love of a child is allowed to Flow it matures and radiates through the heart of a adult with Inclusion, Authenticity, and Ability to be in-relation. Love becomes a lived & embodied prayer of generosity and the connection a portal for the ever inviting dialogue between Us. This capacity of cultivating Maturity is what I aim for in my work with clients.
Who I am becoming as a Therapist equally impacts me How I am contributing to my own Awareness as a Conscious Human Being. The two are multiplicatively inclusive. It is a journey that I am living and it is the most meaningful way I consider I value my contribution to the evolution of humans and their relationships at this time on Earth.